“But Esau ran to meet him, and embraced him, and fell on his neck and
kissed him, and they wept” (Gen 33:4)
Jacob is fervently praying. “Deliver me, I pray, from the hand of my
brother, from the hand of Esau; for I fear him, lest he come and attack me
and the mother with the children” (Gen 32:11). Jacob has twice schemed to
defraud his brother and has run to a foreign land after Esau threatened to
kill him. Now he is returning, at the head of a huge caravan, with his four
wives and many children. Word comes that Esau is coming to meet him with
four hundred men! Jacob thinks quickly and divides the group into two
companies in case of an attack. In a final desperate act to assuage his
brother’s anger, he “bowed himself to the ground seven times, until he came
near to his brother” (Gen 33:3). The moment is tense; what will Esau do?
“But Esau ran to meet him, and embraced him, and fell on his neck and kissed
him, and they wept” (Gen 33:4). Finally, gloriously, the grudge was ended!
Ten grown men are similarly nervous. They have just buried their father, yet
their minds are not focused on grieving or remembering him. “When Joseph’s
brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, ‘Perhaps Joseph will
hate us, and may actually repay us for all the evil which we did to him’”
(Gen 50:15). What will Joseph do? Has he been swallowing his anger for this
moment? Has he been waiting until his father died so he could get his real
revenge? “Joseph said to them, ‘Do not be afraid, for am I in the place of
God? But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good,
in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive. Now
therefore, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones.’
And he comforted them and spoke kindly to them” (Gen 50:19-20). Finally,
gloriously, the grudge was ended!
Grudges are hard on all involved. When Esau and Jacob embrace, why do they
weep together (Gen 33:4)? Perhaps they weep from the time lost, or the
relief of letting it go, or the joy of seeing each other again. They are
both overcome with the emotions caused by the long-term grudge. When Joseph
first sees his brothers in Egypt, he speaks roughly to them (Gen 42:7), then
accuses them (Gen 42:9), weeps (Gen 42:24), frames Benjamin (Gen 44), and
weeps again (Gen 45:2). He is clearly struggling with the emotions of seeing
his brothers again. Yet the brothers also feel the brunt of the past events,
assuming that their trouble is because of their sin (Gen 42:21-22). The
grudge is hard on both parties. Often grudges begin because one party wants
to make the other party feel sorry for what they’ve done. The untold story
of a grudge is the wear it causes on the one holding it — bitterness,
unresolved anger, and malice. Wrestling with the past is difficult enough
without harboring such poisonous emotions in our hearts.
Even long-term grudges can be forgotten. The length of these feuds is
astounding. Jacob lived with Laban twenty years (Gen 31:41) while fearing
Esau, and Joseph’s separation seems to be about twenty years as well. Yet
these grudges end swiftly—with hugs and weeping—when the parties finally
come back together. No grudge has been happening so long that it cannot be
mended.
Most of all, these men show us that really difficult things can be forgiven.
Jacob has finagled Esau’s birthright and blessing, and Esau has threatened
his life. Joseph’s brothers have tried to kill him and have sold him into
slavery. These are not the trifles that we often fight over, yet these men
show the tremendous capacity we have to forgive when we are determined to do
so. Perhaps we are not able to be reconciled in the joyous way these men
were, but we can let go of the bitterness and malice we feel toward
others—as we are commanded to do (Eph 4:31). These men do not show us that
such forgiveness is easy, but that it is possible.
There is great joy in forgiveness. Don’t let grudges continue.
Other Articles
Is All of Life Worship?
Going
Home
What is the Meaning of Fellowship?
All the Way or not at All
Hairpin Curves
Going Home
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